


How Well Do You Know Me

by IrisofParadise



Category: Daredevil (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Anatoly is a cheeky lil bastard, Everyone Is Alive, Fluff and Crack, M/M, Matt Nerdock needs to chill, Matt is competitive, Vladimir is a sore loser
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-01
Updated: 2016-01-01
Packaged: 2018-05-10 19:24:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,342
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5597881
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IrisofParadise/pseuds/IrisofParadise
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Imagine Your OTP doing the 'How well do you know me whipped cream challenge'</p>
            </blockquote>





	How Well Do You Know Me

**Author's Note:**

> It was five in the morning when I wrote this so it may not be the best but I had a bit too much fun writing this.

“This is ridiculous. What are we even doing this for?” Matt asked, frowning as he shook his can of whipped cream.

Vladimir just shrugged as he sat on the couch, two paper plates sitting on the coffee table in front of him. “Tolik came up with game. Seemed like fun. What are we doing for this game again?”

“You two ask each other questions and if you answer wrong, shove whipped cream into each others face,” Anatoly explained as he fiddled with the small camera. He scowled slightly as the two younger men got comfortable on the couch. “I think we should do this outside though. I'm going to end up cleaning your fucking mess.”

Vladimir waved his hand dismissively. “Will be fine. Matvey and I can clean mess later. Let's play.” He shook his own can of whipped cream before squirting some into his mouth.

“What on earth are you doing?” Matt asked, eyebrow raised in curiosity.

“I have not decided if I like this stuff yet. Is kind of milky,” Vladimir said before squirting more into his mouth.

Matt just rolled his eyes, wishing that he still had his glasses on. “Well yeah, it's whipped cream.” Vladimir just shrugged and squirt some more into his mouth. “Oh whatever. Anatoly, when do we start?”

The elder man grinned. “Now,” he said as he turned the camera on, “Matvey asks his question first.”

Matt frowns as he tries to think of a question, his mind suddenly going blank. “Okay uhm... Vladimir what's my favorite restaurant?”

Anatoly smirks as his brother suddenly loses his smirk and sends him a pleading look. “Uh... McDonald's.”

“Oh. Wow, I can't believe,” Matt began quietly as he picked up the plastic plate and filled it with the cold whipped cream, not noticing that Vladimir was once again smirking at the camera, thinking that he had gotten the question correct, “that you got that so wrong.”

“Hu- ack!” Vladimir yelped out as the plate smacked him right in the face, whipped cream going up his nose and into his open mouth. Matt bit his lip to keep from laughing while Anatoly just laughed loudly, camera going at an angle now. Vladimir nodded his head, whipped cream slowly falling from his face and into his lap. “Fuck. You.”

“My favorite restaurant is the Thai place down the street. You know this! We eat their food like twice a week!” Matt laughed out while Vladimir picked up his plastic plate and filled it with more than enough whipped cream.

“Matvey.”

“Hm?”

Anatoly raised an eyebrow as he watched his brother readied his plate, seeming so confident that there was just no way that Matt would know the answer to this question.

“Where am I from?”

Anatoly almost dropped the camera in his surprise. Of all the questions to ask, Vladimir went with the one that Matt couldn't possibly get wrong.

Matt made a face. “Mos- Russia. I'm going to go with Russia. That was a bit too eas- WHAT THE FUCK?!” He yelled out as a plate full of whipped cream smacked him right in the face. The brunette leaned back and licked some of the whipped cream from his mouth. “Vladimir what the fuck?!”

“You're wrong,” the blonde said, forcing a heavy American accent, “I'm from Jersey.”

“I almost fucking believe it you son of a bitch!” Matt yelled back to the calm blonde as he wiped more of the whipped cream from his face. He scowled and picked up his plate. “What,” he began to fill it with more than enough whipped cream, “is my favorite pizza topping?”

Vladimir didn't say anything for a few moments, eyes never leaving the plate of whipped cream that Matt was more than ready shove into his face. He was breathing a bit quicker in worry.

The brunette shook his head and scowled at him. “If you get this right I'm going to punch you in your face.”

“Hawaiian.”

“I fucking hate you so much! Hijo de puto!” Matt yelled out, pushing the plate back onto the coffee table.

Vladimir smirked as he picked up the plate of whipped cream. “Who is my best friend?”

“Anatoly,” Matt said, arms crossed and rolling his eyes.

“Nyet. Pie in your face fucker!” Was all the warning that Matt received before there was indeed another plate of whipped cream smacking him right in the face.

Anatoly frowned. “What do you mean I'm not your best friend?!” He shouted at the same time that Matt yelled out angrily, “You're a fucking liar! I can tell that you're lying! Your heart rate increases! Your breathing rate increases! Bastardo!”

The elder Russian picked up one of the cans of whipped cream and shook it up, camera now sitting on the table as he made a plate. “Vova.”

“Cht-ah!” The plate smacked Vladimir in the face as soon as he turned to face Anatoly. “Fucking why?!” Anatoly didn't say anything, just picked the camera back up.

Matt nodded in thought, lips pursed as he made another plate. “What was the first text I ever got from you, Vladimir?”

Vladimir's mouth dropped open. “Uh...”

“It was several months ago. Before we were dating. Come on, Volodya. What did the first text I ever receive from you say?” Matt asked, eyebrow raised as he held the plate, ready to smack it into Vladimir's face.

“Uhm...” Vladimir rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly before squeezing his eyes shut and yelling out almost hysterically, “Yoh boy, what you up to?!”

Matt huffed for a moment before he let out a yell of frustration, pushing the plate back onto the coffee table. “I want to fucking pie you just for knowing that! How did you even remember that?! You were so drunk!” He finally settled on yelling, face a light red in his aggravation that Vladimir was winning this little game.

The blonde just let out a relieved sigh before shrugging. “I put lot of effort and thought into that text.”

“It's true. You should have seen him,” Anatoly said from the other side of the coffee table.

Matt licked his lips in thought. “You put a lot of thought into it and that's what you came up with?! Why am I dating you?!”

“Don't know,” Vladimir shrugged as he took the plate from Matt. “What is my name?”

“Vladimir Ranskahov and don't you dare fucking tell me that I am wrong!” Matt yelled out, eyes wide as he poked Vladimir in the chest.

Vladimir just hummed in acknowledgment before smirking. “You pronounced my name wrong. Pie in your face, mother fucker!” And with that said, the plate was shoved onto Matt's face. He laughed loudly as Matt gasped and spit whipped cream out of his mouth.

“I want to break up,” Matt said, wiping whipped cream from his face. He didn't seem to care that he was smearing it into his hair. Vladimir just laughed loudly. Matt pursed his lips and picked up one of the cans, shook it up, and jumped onto Vladimir, successfully managing to pin the Russian to the couch. “Really hate you so much sometimes! You make me so angry!” The lawyer yelled out while spraying whipped cream all over Vladimir's face.

Anatoly burst out laughing, ignoring as his brother yelled out for his help. “Nyet! On your own with the devil, moy brat'ya!” He grinned as he continued to watch the two yell in a mix of languages, whipped cream flying around everywhere. “True comedy gold right here. Hey! Come on! Back to the game!”

For a moment he thought that he would have to physically separate the two men but eventually Matt was climbing off of Vladimir and sitting on his half of the couch.

“Alright, my turn. What,” the blind man picked up a plate and began filling it, “are my favorite pair of socks?”

“What the fuck kind of question is that?!”

As soon as the question was out of Vladimir's mouth, Matt smashed the plate into the blonde's face. “Wrong! My favorite pair of socks are the ones that Foggy got me for Christmas with my Daredevil logo! Puta!”

Vladimir wiped some of the whipped cream from his face and flung it onto Matt's chest. “How the fuck was I supposed to know that you have socks with your stupid ass logo on them?!”

“You don't know me at all!” Matt yelled back.

“I know that you're a fucking asshole, mudak!” Vladimir snapped back. He smirked slightly as he thought of his next question. “Who do I hate most in the world?”

Matt frowned. “Don't pie me if I get it right. Fisk.” He yelled out as another plate was smashed into his face. “Who?! Who do you hate more than Fisk, Vladimir?!”

“Oh you got it right. I just really wanted to pie you in the fucking face again,” Vladimir said brightly, licking some of the whipped cream from his fingers.

Matt twitched as he processed the blonde's words. “That is not how this fucking game works you son of a bitch! Who's my favorite band?”

Vladimir frowned, eyebrow raised in curiosity. “You listen to music? Ack! Mother fu-ack why?!” The blonde yelped as he was pied in the face for a third time, unable to finish his sentences.

“No one likes your sass!” Matt snapped out, readying another plate. He scowled as Vladimir snatched it back. “I hate you. Let's break up.”

“Liar,” Vladimir scoffed back.

Matt just scowled at him. “Fuck you. What did we do for my birthday!”

“It's not even your damn turn!” Vladimir yelled.

“WHAT DID WE DO FOR MY BIRTHDAY?!” Matt repeated, yelling louder, plate at the ready.

“We had sex!”

“Before that!”

“There was a before that?” The Russian asked, genuinely seeming curious. Matt huffed and smashed the whipped cream pie into his face. “Shit! Mudak, I was fucking kidding! Kidding!” Vladimir scowled as he wiped the pie from his face. He glared as Matt smirked at him and picked up his own plate. “Alright then smart ass, when is my birthday?”

Matt's eyes widened, expression completely blank. “Uh... Wait! Hold on! I know this!” He yelled, hand outstretched as if to stop Vladimir from pieing him. “It's uh on a day. Of a month. During the year.”

The brothers just shared a look, completely done with the vigilante lawyer. “You're close. But you got that wrong so I have to pie you,” Vladimir said almost managing to sound apologetic. The fact that he was wearing a smirk made it obvious that he wasn't. Matt gave a kicked puppy expression. “Oh come on. Not with the face,” Matt continued to pout. “Matvey...” The pie landed dead center on Matt's face. “I don't even feel bad!” Vladimir laughed out, pointing at Matt's gaping face.

Matt winced as he wiped the pie from his eyes, blinking quickly. “Oh fuck. I think I'm about to go blind.”

Anatoly scoffed while Vladimir just turned and gave the brunette a dry look. “I should pie you again just for that. You are not fu-ack!” He was cut off as Matt smacked a plate into his face.

“My turn,” Matt said, readying another plate. “Where did Stick take me for my first and last Christmas with him?”

Vladimir blinked and stared at Anatoly. The elder Russian just shrugged, not knowing the answer. “...the land of disappointment?”

“...you're almost not wrong. So I'll give you half a point and not pie you too much for that,” Matt said, nodding his head in acknowledgment to the blonde's answer.

Vladimir bit his lower lip, whipped cream falling onto his lap. “...back to the orphanage?” He just gave a long sigh as the plate was smashed into his face. Anatoly just made an 'ooh' sound as his brother nodded, whipped cream getting into his hair.

“Now that was just hurtful! And uncalled for!” Matt yelled out, slightly offended.

The blonde just nodded. “Okay. Da. I deserved that. What is my favorite vegetable?”

“You like vegetables? Now hold on that's not my answer! Tomato!” Matt fell back slightly as the pie was shoved into his face. “Oh my god... You like tomatoes!”

Vladimir pointed at him. “Tomato is a fruit!”

“What's my favorite pet, Vladimir?!”

“Dogs! Ha! I know this!” Vladimir yelled, clapping his hands together loudly. “On top of my game! Ahck! Chto?!”

“Wrong!” Matt yelled, jabbing Vladimir in the chest. “That's your favorite pet! Mine is no pets!”

Vladimir pushed him off of the couch. “Cheater! That is fucking cheating, cheater!”

“You have been cheating this whole fucking time!”

Vladimir waved his hand dismissively. "What year was I born?!"

Matt closed his eyes and leaned his head back with a groan. "I don't know... The stone age?" When the whipped cream smacked him in the face he just shrugged. "I deserved that." 

“Damn right you did!" The blonde yelled back in an offended tone. "I'm only five years older than you! Ugh!” Vladimir threw his arms up. “Can we stop now? This is ridiculous and I have whipped cream in my ears.”

Matt nodded in agreement. “Alright. Yeah, enough is enough. We need to clean this mess.”

When the two moved to get off of the couch Anatoly frowned. “Volodya, I bet he doesn't know your favorite movie.”

“What's my favorite movie mudak?!”

“Star Wars!” Matt yelled at the same time that he shoved one more plate of whipped cream into Vladimir's face.

Vladimir just coughed and spluttered, mouth open as he gaped at the grinning brunette. “Mudak, that wasn't even your fucking turn!”

Matt yelped as he was covered in whipped cream. “Good lord! Come on!” He scowled as he tried to wipe some of the whipped cream from his face. Vladimir smirked as he leaned closer to wipe some of the whipped cream from Matt's cheeks.

“You are mess.”

“You can lick it off me?”

Anatoly rolled his eyes as he saw his brother brighten up considerably. “On that note, I am turning camera off and leaving. Clean this mess you losers.”

 

**Author's Note:**

> I was going to have Foggy walk in and just "Nope. Fuck this shit, I'm out." And him just turning around and leaving but oops.


End file.
